1
00:00:02,080 --> 00:00:04,050
Uh… Ah!

2
00:00:06,230 --> 00:00:09,040
Who wants more huevos rancheros?

3
00:00:09,200 --> 00:00:11,040
Argh.

4
00:00:25,010 --> 00:00:27,160
Really? No! No, no, no, no, no.

5
00:00:27,180 --> 00:00:30,010
Oh, come on! No way.

6
00:00:30,040 --> 00:00:31,050
No.

7
00:00:39,230 --> 00:00:42,030
Parker, hurry up in there!

8
00:00:42,050 --> 00:00:44,200
Don't use all the mouthwash!
I forgot to gargle.

9
00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:58,160
High school elections, what a load!

10
00:00:58,190 --> 00:01:01,050
So many promises,

11
00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:03,220
so many slogans,

12
00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:06,000
so many teeth.

13
00:01:20,170 --> 00:01:22,160
Every semester, it's the same thing.

14
00:01:22,180 --> 00:01:26,020
A pagan ritual zaps the hot button
of junior political zealots.

15
00:01:26,040 --> 00:01:29,150
You know, those Ernie geeks who
C-SPAN every night instead of MTV

16
00:01:29,170 --> 00:01:32,090
and hope against hope to be a future congressman or senator.

17
00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:35,150
It's the dawn of the new relevancy,

18
00:01:35,170 --> 00:01:37,150
but only if we embrace our tomorrows.

19
00:01:37,170 --> 00:01:38,200
Take Becky Grant,

20
00:01:38,230 --> 00:01:42,000
for her, the race for junior class president is a holy quest.

21
00:01:42,020 --> 00:01:44,070
…the vision to see it and greet it.

22
00:01:44,090 --> 00:01:47,080
I actually sent Becky a love note in the 4th grade.

23
00:01:47,100 --> 00:01:49,190
She said she was saving herself for Tom Brokaw (TV news broadcaster).

24
00:01:50,010 --> 00:01:53,160
I say, apathy is the Orwellian prologue,

25
00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:56,010
and we all know what that means.

26
00:01:56,160 --> 00:01:58,120
For entertainment, there's Conrad Fleck.

27
00:02:02,140 --> 00:02:05,020
Candidate by desire, doofus by destiny.

28
00:02:05,100 --> 00:02:07,160
Hi, Conrad Fleck for…

29
00:02:07,190 --> 00:02:09,120
My fault, sorry. -

30
00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:12,200
Who runs in these stupid elections?
Give it up now

31
00:02:12,220 --> 00:02:15,040
for your next junior class president…

32
00:02:15,060 --> 00:02:19,110
Parker Lewis!

33
00:02:19,130 --> 00:02:22,220
Hey, don't look at me. I don't even know what channel C-SPAN is on.

34
00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:25,060
I'm just running to keep our principal under control.

35
00:02:32,100 --> 00:02:34,010
Well, Park, you like 'em?

36
00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:35,035
Coolness.

37
00:02:35,050 --> 00:02:39,000
Mr. Lewis, I mean, Mr. President. Mr. Randall. Sirs!

38
00:02:39,030 --> 00:02:41,000
Jerry, I haven't won yet.

39
00:02:41,020 --> 00:02:43,010
Results of my morning poll may interest you.

40
00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:44,060
Walk with me, talk with me.

41
00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:45,170
Responding to the question,

42
00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:47,230
"If the election were held today, who would get your vote?"

43
00:02:48,010 --> 00:02:52,010
Fifty-one percent said you, a mere 30% said Becky Grant.

44
00:02:52,040 --> 00:02:54,160
Point 000% said Conrad Fleck,

45
00:02:54,180 --> 00:02:57,160
and the remaining 19% was split between undecided

46
00:02:57,190 --> 00:02:59,090
and those favoring Johnny Depp.

47
00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:02,090
It's not a perfect sample.

48
00:03:05,110 --> 00:03:07,080
By next period, I'll have the results cross-indexed

49
00:03:07,110 --> 00:03:09,230
by sex, homeroom and favorite cafeteria table, sir.

50
00:03:10,010 --> 00:03:12,050
It's no problem, really. I'll just skip my mid-term.

51
00:03:12,080 --> 00:03:14,060
All this, and he's housebroken too.

52
00:03:15,030 --> 00:03:16,160
Autograph my poster, Parker?

53
00:03:16,220 --> 00:03:17,220
Sure.

54
00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:19,160
Like those buttons.

55
00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:27,200
Frank Lemmer, the principal's flunky.

56
00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:31,030
They're running a picture of his spine on milk cartons.

57
00:03:31,050 --> 00:03:32,060
So,

58
00:03:32,180 --> 00:03:35,080
campaigning after the passing period, eh, Lewis?

59
00:03:35,100 --> 00:03:36,100
Hey, Lemmer!

60
00:03:37,090 --> 00:03:40,230
Better hide! I heard they're spraying for cockroaches!

61
00:03:42,090 --> 00:03:44,160
I guess we told him.

62
00:03:47,210 --> 00:03:50,150
It's bad enough we get hauled into the principal's office,

63
00:03:50,170 --> 00:03:53,180
now we have to age prematurely listening to this muzak.

64
00:04:03,080 --> 00:04:04,120
Grace Musso,

65
00:04:04,140 --> 00:04:07,100
more than a principal, a psychopath with tenure.

66
00:04:07,120 --> 00:04:10,110
Campaigning after the late bell.

67
00:04:10,130 --> 00:04:12,120
- No, Miss Musso, we were…
- Do you know what happens

68
00:04:12,150 --> 00:04:15,110
when candidates violate the rules of campaigning,

69
00:04:15,130 --> 00:04:18,190
thumb their noses at regulations, consider themselves

70
00:04:18,210 --> 00:04:20,070
above the law?

71
00:04:20,150 --> 00:04:22,070
They get elected to second terms?

72
00:04:22,090 --> 00:04:25,000
I did not invite you in here to make fun of me!

73
00:04:25,040 --> 00:04:27,010
Will that be all then? 

74
00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:31,150
I want you to know I've got your number, Lewis.

75
00:04:31,170 --> 00:04:33,130
I know why you're in this election!

76
00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:35,190
For one reason, and one reason alone.

77
00:04:35,210 --> 00:04:39,100
To get in office and exploit the many favors that fall to student officers,

78
00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:40,120
but it won't work!

79
00:04:40,140 --> 00:04:42,190
It won't! It won't! It won't!

80
00:04:42,210 --> 00:04:45,160
But, Miss Musso, our poster says he's a lock to win it.

81
00:04:45,180 --> 00:04:46,180
Silence!

82
00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:49,160
Oh, I can tolerate a lot of things on this campus.

83
00:04:49,190 --> 00:04:52,180
The smoking in the girls' room, the fist fights,

84
00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:55,180
the way the boys on the basketball team always leering at me.

85
00:04:56,190 --> 00:05:01,200
But the last thing I want is Parker Lewis to be the next junior class president!

86
00:05:01,220 --> 00:05:03,180
As if I needed more motivation.

87
00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:06,180
I'm prepared to bribe you to drop out if that's what it takes.

88
00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:09,120
The candidate doesn't want the perks of office!

89
00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:12,070
The candidate doesn't need favors!

90
00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:14,200
The candidate is running

91
00:05:14,230 --> 00:05:18,210
because prior student governments were mere puppets,

92
00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:21,120
rubber stamps of the school administration.

93
00:05:22,150 --> 00:05:26,210
The candidate is only running to restore independence

94
00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:30,090
and high moral character to the office.

95
00:05:32,160 --> 00:05:33,190
That's sick!

96
00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:42,210
There he is! I got him!

97
00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:44,000
Coolness.

98
00:05:45,100 --> 00:05:46,100
Smile!

99
00:05:50,050 --> 00:05:52,000
I begin to sense momentum.

100
00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:02,080
My latest poll has Becky Grant down two points,

101
00:06:02,100 --> 00:06:04,110
both of which, I'm happy to say, you've picked up, sir.

102
00:06:04,190 --> 00:06:06,180
Friday, if you want, the drill team will spell out

103
00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:09,000
"E Pluribus Parker" at half-time.

104
00:06:09,080 --> 00:06:12,040
We're already ahead. Let's not run Becky into the ground.

105
00:06:12,060 --> 00:06:14,170
Since when did you catch a fever for Becky Grant?

106
00:06:15,140 --> 00:06:17,130
I don't have a fever for Becky Grant.

107
00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:19,210
Hope she's not too bummed about all this.

108
00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:22,120
Mental note, find key staff position for her.

109
00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:24,040
What about Conrad Fleck?

110
00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:29,080
Vote for Fleck. Conrad Fleck for president.

111
00:06:29,100 --> 00:06:30,100
Vote for…

112
00:06:46,100 --> 00:06:48,070
So much for the Fleck factor.

113
00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:50,170
Get your Parker Lewis buttons here!

114
00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:53,000
Shelly, helping?

115
00:06:59,140 --> 00:07:03,120
You get your choice. "Parker Lewis stinks", "Parker Lewis reeks",

116
00:07:03,140 --> 00:07:06,140
"Parker Lewis is the lapdog stooge of the administration."

117
00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:09,030
Mikey, up for a little pest control?

118
00:07:12,170 --> 00:07:14,020
Not a problem!

119
00:07:15,220 --> 00:07:17,020
Ahhh!

120
00:07:19,060 --> 00:07:20,080
Shall we?

121
00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:22,120
I gotta get more peas.

122
00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:24,110
Okay.

123
00:07:25,230 --> 00:07:29,010
A vote for Grant is a vote for democracy.

124
00:07:29,180 --> 00:07:33,050
Who says the student council has to be a puppet of the administration?

125
00:07:33,210 --> 00:07:36,070
Who says we have to settle for mediocrity?

126
00:07:36,180 --> 00:07:38,170
A strange feeling is sweeping over me.

127
00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:42,000
I'm not proud of it, I'm not happy about it, but it's there.

128
00:07:43,150 --> 00:07:44,150
Vote for Grant.

129
00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:46,000
It's respect.

130
00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:49,000
Over the years, the Parker-cam had been many places.

131
00:07:49,020 --> 00:07:51,130
Classrooms, closets, locker rooms.

132
00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:54,150
Now, it was boldly going where no Parker-cam had gone before.

133
00:07:55,020 --> 00:07:57,220
How dare you guys bug Becky's campaign meeting?

134
00:07:58,130 --> 00:08:00,150
How can you invade her privacy like this?

135
00:08:00,170 --> 00:08:02,120
I won't have anything to do with it!

136
00:08:02,140 --> 00:08:04,000
Hey, she's talkin' about you!

137
00:08:04,220 --> 00:08:05,220
Crank it up!

138
00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:09,000
How can you say Parker Lewis is going to win? He can't!

139
00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:11,120
I'm just as good as he is, if not better.

140
00:08:11,140 --> 00:08:13,160
All he is is a master of self-promotion.

141
00:08:14,010 --> 00:08:15,040
I think I've heard enough.

142
00:08:15,060 --> 00:08:16,060
No. Shh! Wait.

143
00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:18,130
Becky, I'm sorry, but the election's Monday

144
00:08:18,160 --> 00:08:21,060
and he keeps pulling ahead. He's unstoppable!

145
00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:22,080
Ha!

146
00:08:22,100 --> 00:08:25,130
Did you hear that, Park, "unstoppable"? Unstoppable!

147
00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:27,020
Excellent, sir.

148
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:28,050
Okay, guys.

149
00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:30,190
I guess I can let your sister out now, huh?

150
00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:32,130
Yeah, I guess.

151
00:08:32,160 --> 00:08:35,120
I'll help you, Mr. Randall.
That dumpster lid's pretty heavy.

152
00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:38,080
I should have known not to get my
hopes up for a stupid election.

153
00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:40,130
Becky, you did great!

154
00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:45,030
Besides, we know how hard it is to campaign
around your job and all your volunteer work.

155
00:08:45,060 --> 00:08:47,200
Busy girl.
I wonder if she has time for dating.

156
00:08:48,150 --> 00:08:50,080
You wanna know what really hurts?

157
00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:54,150
Getting done in by some glad-hander
running a popularity contest.

158
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:57,060
Mental note. Dating question, now moot.

159
00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:01,200
Just remind me this next time I
say I wanna make a difference,

160
00:09:01,230 --> 00:09:03,200
so I'll know not to bother.

161
00:09:04,100 --> 00:09:07,080
Oh, great!
Doesn't this make me feel wonderful?

162
00:09:07,100 --> 00:09:12,000
This terrific girl gets her whole sense of
higher purpose punctured, and I'm to blame.

163
00:09:12,020 --> 00:09:14,120
The way I see it,
this cuts one of two ways.

164
00:09:15,010 --> 00:09:16,100
If she wins this election,

165
00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:20,010
it would be just the start of a brilliant
career in public service for Becky.

166
00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:23,080
Congress, the Senate,
maybe the Supreme Court.

167
00:09:23,100 --> 00:09:25,120
And if she loses… -

168
00:09:32,140 --> 00:09:34,010
The answer is clear.

169
00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:36,000
I have to do the unthinkable.

170
00:09:36,030 --> 00:09:38,230
I have to lose this election.

171
00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:51,200
I made my decision and it feels good.

172
00:09:51,220 --> 00:09:55,080
Truth was,
Becky Grant needed to win this election,

173
00:09:55,100 --> 00:09:56,170
I only wanted it.

174
00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:59,210
And if student government needed
somebody to stand up to Musso,

175
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:01,090
Becky could handle that.

176
00:10:03,220 --> 00:10:05,150
And look mighty fine doing it.

177
00:10:05,210 --> 00:10:08,020
Time to share the news
with my campaign staff.

178
00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:09,200
I can't wait to see their faces.

179
00:10:09,220 --> 00:10:14,080
What will me being class president
give us that we don't already have?

180
00:10:15,170 --> 00:10:17,000
Access to the roof,

181
00:10:17,030 --> 00:10:18,220
unlimited hall passes,

182
00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:22,210
cheerleaders who find us irresistible?

183
00:10:23,060 --> 00:10:25,160
If anything, we'll have a better time!

184
00:10:25,180 --> 00:10:26,200
And why?

185
00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:32,040
Because Miss Musso will have her
hands so full with Becky Grant,

186
00:10:32,070 --> 00:10:35,070
she won't have time to hassle with us!

187
00:10:36,150 --> 00:10:39,090
Now the trick would be to lose
without Becky knowing we threw it.

188
00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:43,010
We had to conduct a covert action.
Yes, a guerilla war.

189
00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:45,000
We'd sabotage our own campaign.

190
00:10:45,100 --> 00:10:47,130
We spent all night
tearing down my posters,

191
00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:49,160
a surefire deathblow to my campaign.

192
00:10:51,090 --> 00:10:53,120
This is major coolness, guys.

193
00:10:54,160 --> 00:10:56,160
I tell you, Park,
there's something not right

194
00:10:56,180 --> 00:10:59,040
about tearing down posters
in the middle of the night.

195
00:10:59,070 --> 00:11:02,030
It's sneaky, underhanded.

196
00:11:02,050 --> 00:11:03,160
We should be doing it to them.

197
00:11:03,180 --> 00:11:05,000
Mr. Randall's right, sir.

198
00:11:05,030 --> 00:11:08,200
Abetting in your political suicide flies
in the face of my entire belief system.

199
00:11:08,230 --> 00:11:10,030
But I want you to.

200
00:11:14,180 --> 00:11:15,180
You think we got 'em all?

201
00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:18,030
Maybe my ingenious plan is
going to work after all.

202
00:11:18,050 --> 00:11:19,120
Parker, it's horrible!

203
00:11:19,140 --> 00:11:20,170
Maybe not.

204
00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:24,060
We found these in the recycling bin.

205
00:11:24,170 --> 00:11:26,020
Smells like Musso's work to me!

206
00:11:26,040 --> 00:11:27,130
Or maybe it's that dude Lemmer.

207
00:11:27,160 --> 00:11:29,030
Or that Becky Grant!

208
00:11:29,050 --> 00:11:30,110
Well, whoever it was,

209
00:11:30,130 --> 00:11:33,010
we're not gonna let 'em rip off this
election from Parker Lewis, are we?

210
00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:34,070
No!

211
00:11:42,070 --> 00:11:45,090
What? Was It's a Wonderful
Life on cable last night?

212
00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:47,080
Whatever happened to apathy.

213
00:11:47,100 --> 00:11:49,160
Give me the students that don't care.

214
00:11:49,180 --> 00:11:52,080
I wanted my campaign to lose steam,
instead…

215
00:11:55,050 --> 00:11:57,060
You're up five percent in the poll, sir.

216
00:11:57,200 --> 00:12:00,180
This isn't working.
I need negative impact, and quick.

217
00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:02,060
If you want my opinion,

218
00:12:02,080 --> 00:12:04,150
I think that this school
would be a whole lot better

219
00:12:04,170 --> 00:12:09,170
if it weren't for those lazy, lard-butt
losers that we call a football team!

220
00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:10,220
Huh?

221
00:12:15,060 --> 00:12:17,230
So much for Flamingo Defamation Plan B.

222
00:12:21,210 --> 00:12:23,080
Hey, Park, lighten up.

223
00:12:23,110 --> 00:12:25,110
It's not over until the fat lady sings.

224
00:12:25,130 --> 00:12:27,120
Oh, good idea. I'll get Roseanne Barr

225
00:12:27,140 --> 00:12:29,180
to sing at my campaign
rally and lose for sure.

226
00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:31,150
You know, I was thinkin'

227
00:12:31,170 --> 00:12:33,160
if you really wanted to change votes,

228
00:12:34,100 --> 00:12:35,140
what would it take?

229
00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:37,130
- Yeah?
- Well…

230
00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:41,070
You know,
those Depeche Mode tickets you're selling.

231
00:12:41,090 --> 00:12:43,230
It might be able to be
swapped for a vote or two.

232
00:12:49,080 --> 00:12:50,180
And then they said

233
00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:53,220
if I tried to bribe anyone
else to vote against you,

234
00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:56,150
they would solder my mouth shut.

235
00:12:56,170 --> 00:12:59,060
Boy, that is one tough chess club!

236
00:13:00,150 --> 00:13:03,100
Who says we have to take
comfort in mediocrity?

237
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:07,020
Isn't it time we broke free
from the servile mentality?

238
00:13:07,160 --> 00:13:09,000
She doesn't give up, does she, sir?

239
00:13:09,030 --> 00:13:10,040
No, she doesn't.

240
00:13:10,070 --> 00:13:11,200
And seeing her courage to press on

241
00:13:11,230 --> 00:13:14,110
makes my adrenaline flow, my heart race,

242
00:13:14,130 --> 00:13:16,030
or is it just seeing her?

243
00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:19,040
Well, she ought to just pull the plug.

244
00:13:19,060 --> 00:13:21,200
She's not match even when you try to lose.

245
00:13:21,220 --> 00:13:23,080
And you tried everything.

246
00:13:23,210 --> 00:13:24,210
Have I?

247
00:13:25,100 --> 00:13:26,120
I want a debate.

248
00:13:26,190 --> 00:13:30,040
I promise to work hard
every day after school.

249
00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:33,070
- I promise to work after school, too…
- Parker! Parker!

250
00:13:33,090 --> 00:13:34,130
…on my tan.

251
00:13:34,190 --> 00:13:37,000
I would, uh, just like to say that

252
00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:38,160
if you…

253
00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:40,040
If elected,

254
00:13:40,060 --> 00:13:43,090
I would form a student
cafeteria-menu committee.

255
00:13:43,160 --> 00:13:45,140
- If I win…
- Parker! Parker!

256
00:13:45,160 --> 00:13:47,210
I'm going to be late and lazy.

257
00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:49,000
Elect me…

258
00:13:49,150 --> 00:13:50,150
Your, uh…

259
00:13:51,020 --> 00:13:53,200
My task would be to gain your…

260
00:13:53,220 --> 00:13:55,180
Parker! Parker!

261
00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:56,210
…trust.

262
00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:58,000
I'm not gonna do anything.

263
00:13:58,030 --> 00:14:00,080
Parker! Parker!

264
00:14:00,110 --> 00:14:02,000
You're crazy if you vote for me.

265
00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:06,190
Memo to Dukakis. Next time, try to lose.

266
00:14:20,190 --> 00:14:22,150
What now, Parker? Come to gloat?

267
00:14:23,020 --> 00:14:24,020
Gloat?

268
00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:25,230
No way. I wanted to say I'm sorry.

269
00:14:28,110 --> 00:14:30,040
Just what are you up to?

270
00:14:31,130 --> 00:14:32,190
I'm…

271
00:14:32,210 --> 00:14:35,190
I'm trying to tell you that

272
00:14:36,130 --> 00:14:37,130
I really

273
00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:40,000
am sorry about what
happened at the debate.

274
00:14:40,190 --> 00:14:42,170
Good. She'll listen to reason.

275
00:14:43,140 --> 00:14:44,200
What I'm saying is

276
00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:46,200
I like you

277
00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:50,030
and although we are
opponents in this campaign,

278
00:14:50,050 --> 00:14:51,090
I really,

279
00:14:51,230 --> 00:14:53,140
really want you to win.

280
00:14:54,130 --> 00:14:56,190
She's putty in my hands.

281
00:14:57,160 --> 00:14:59,080
Don't insult my intelligence.

282
00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:02,080
She's out of here.

283
00:15:03,170 --> 00:15:05,190
No, I'm not gonna read you any speech,

284
00:15:05,210 --> 00:15:07,140
but I am gonna tell you a story.

285
00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:10,180
Well, Park, honey,
why don't you just drop out of the race?

286
00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:12,150
It wouldn't do any good, Mom!

287
00:15:12,170 --> 00:15:13,190
Jerry's latest poll said…

288
00:15:13,230 --> 00:15:16,080
If you took yourself off the ballot,
you'd still win on write-ins.

289
00:15:16,100 --> 00:15:18,040
In fact, sir,
according to those responding,

290
00:15:18,060 --> 00:15:19,230
if you were arrested for
stealing from an orphanage,

291
00:15:20,010 --> 00:15:21,210
got sentenced to prison
without chance of parole,

292
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:23,130
and got killed while trying to escape,

293
00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:25,200
you'd still win by 17.8 percent.

294
00:15:25,230 --> 00:15:28,010
Mental note. Jerry needs a woman.

295
00:15:28,110 --> 00:15:29,120
It's all manure.

296
00:15:29,150 --> 00:15:31,120
Oh, come on. You were the one who led

297
00:15:31,140 --> 00:15:33,140
the voter registration drive in college.

298
00:15:33,160 --> 00:15:36,060
Well,
I believed in that Gene McCartney guy.

299
00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:38,020
McCarthy, dear!

300
00:15:38,040 --> 00:15:40,040
Asking my parents for political advice

301
00:15:40,070 --> 00:15:42,160
is like checking for a
gas leak with a match.

302
00:15:42,180 --> 00:15:45,150
You find what you're looking for,
but you're lucky to get out alive.

303
00:15:45,230 --> 00:15:47,180
But I'm not leaving anything to luck.

304
00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:50,200
It's election day,
and I'm gonna lose the old-fashioned way.

305
00:15:50,230 --> 00:15:51,230
Bribery.

306
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:54,050
- How many so far?
- Uh, 16 voters.

307
00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:57,170
Everyone else on the nurse's office
list is scheduled for surgery.

308
00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:59,080
Oh? They don't like CDs?

309
00:16:00,190 --> 00:16:03,070
Thanks for coming in and vote
for Becky today. Here's your CD.

310
00:16:03,090 --> 00:16:05,040
Aerosmith? Cool!

311
00:16:06,180 --> 00:16:10,160
Face it, Park, you're the next class
president whether you like it or not.

312
00:16:10,180 --> 00:16:13,220
If you wanna blow this kind of momentum,
it would take an act so ugly,

313
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:16,060
more heinous than this
school has ever seen!

314
00:16:16,080 --> 00:16:19,060
Forget heinous!
It'd have to be an atrocity!

315
00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:21,080
Atrocity coming right up.

316
00:16:22,140 --> 00:16:25,130
The last thing…
The last thing I want… I want…

317
00:16:25,160 --> 00:16:28,070
A video nip here, an audio tuck there.

318
00:16:28,090 --> 00:16:30,120
I wonder if this is how
Spike Lee got started.

319
00:16:30,190 --> 00:16:33,110
For Parker Lewis to be the
next junior class pres…

320
00:16:33,190 --> 00:16:35,040
Hey, Park,

321
00:16:35,060 --> 00:16:37,080
lighten up, huh?
You're gonna give me nightmares.

322
00:16:38,140 --> 00:16:40,040
Jerry, set up the tape deck.

323
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:43,160
How much longer till
the election assembly?

324
00:16:44,110 --> 00:16:45,150
About 20 minutes.

325
00:16:46,050 --> 00:16:47,190
Hey, Park, what are you up to?

326
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:51,090
Gentlemen, synchronize Swatches!

327
00:16:51,230 --> 00:16:53,160
It's Operation Parker-gate!

328
00:16:54,030 --> 00:16:55,140
Next, I'd like to recognize…

329
00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:56,160
all of the fine young

330
00:16:56,180 --> 00:16:58,190
students who have worked so hard…

331
00:17:03,040 --> 00:17:05,220
I'm gonna stand right
up here till you stop!

332
00:17:08,230 --> 00:17:09,230
That's better.

333
00:17:11,090 --> 00:17:13,040
This is not a Banana Republic!

334
00:17:14,210 --> 00:17:16,030
Now,

335
00:17:16,050 --> 00:17:18,000
before you go, cast your votes,

336
00:17:18,020 --> 00:17:19,200
I'd like you to give a round of applause

337
00:17:19,230 --> 00:17:22,080
for all of the candidates
gathered here today.

338
00:17:22,110 --> 00:17:24,110
Parker! Parker! Parker!

339
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:33,120
Remember, your vote is important.

340
00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:37,160
All students should enter
and exit the polling place

341
00:17:37,180 --> 00:17:39,100
in an orderly fashion.

342
00:17:39,150 --> 00:17:41,000
- Five.
- Four.

343
00:17:41,090 --> 00:17:42,220
- Three.
- Two.

344
00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:44,080
One.

345
00:17:44,110 --> 00:17:45,105
Now!

346
00:17:45,120 --> 00:17:47,030
I want Parker Lewis

347
00:17:47,050 --> 00:17:49,160
to be the next junior class president!

348
00:17:50,010 --> 00:17:54,190
I want Parker Lewis to be the
next junior class president!

349
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:57,150
I want Parker Lewis…

350
00:17:57,170 --> 00:18:01,070
Look bewildered now, Parker.
Think Reagan. Reagan!

351
00:18:01,090 --> 00:18:02,230
I want Parker Lewis

352
00:18:03,010 --> 00:18:04,220
to be the next junior class president!

353
00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:10,100
I want Parker Lewis to be
the next junior class…

354
00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:16,130
Coolness, Park.
Coolness as far as the eye can see.

355
00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:18,160
Nobody can bang the brakes like you did.

356
00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:20,160
Sir, it's one for the books.

357
00:18:21,080 --> 00:18:23,100
The biggest voter turnout in history,

358
00:18:23,120 --> 00:18:25,080
all just to banish you from office.

359
00:18:26,050 --> 00:18:27,070
I'm touched.

360
00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:29,040
According to the final count,

361
00:18:29,070 --> 00:18:30,160
you came in dead last.

362
00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:32,150
Becky Grant beat you,

363
00:18:32,170 --> 00:18:34,070
Conrad Fleck beat you.

364
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:37,040
Fleck beat me?

365
00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:40,080
I came in third to the fountain of goof?

366
00:18:40,110 --> 00:18:42,120
No, Johnny Depp beat you, too.

367
00:18:43,020 --> 00:18:44,100
So did Bart Simpson.

368
00:18:45,010 --> 00:18:46,200
And the two write-ins for

369
00:18:46,230 --> 00:18:49,000
that genie on Pee-wee's Playhouse.

370
00:18:51,120 --> 00:18:53,140
Exactly how many votes did I get?

371
00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:55,040
Vote, sir.

372
00:18:55,060 --> 00:18:57,010
- Vote.
- Lewis.

373
00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:05,200
I'm so sorry about your
humiliating defeat.

374
00:19:05,220 --> 00:19:07,230
My sincerest condolences.

375
00:19:08,210 --> 00:19:10,200
As for that phantom endorsement,

376
00:19:10,230 --> 00:19:13,010
I have no idea how that happened.

377
00:19:14,040 --> 00:19:15,120
Solar flare maybe.

378
00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:19,020
It's against my policy
to endorse candidates.

379
00:19:19,040 --> 00:19:21,100
It might have a subtle
effect on the outcome.

380
00:19:21,120 --> 00:19:24,140
Yes, and Hurricane Hugo had a
subtle effect on beach parties.

381
00:19:29,180 --> 00:19:31,040
One vote.

382
00:19:31,060 --> 00:19:32,200
One lousy vote.

383
00:19:32,220 --> 00:19:35,120
Sure I feel good about
losing so Becky could win,

384
00:19:35,150 --> 00:19:37,020
but one vote?

385
00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:41,040
I wonder, did I get caught up
in the trap of peer validation?

386
00:19:41,070 --> 00:19:44,000
Did I want too much by
wanting it both ways?

387
00:19:44,030 --> 00:19:46,100
Did Johnny Depp use gel of mousse?

388
00:19:47,100 --> 00:19:50,010
I had done the right thing,
and I feel good,

389
00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:51,230
but I want to feel better.

390
00:19:52,010 --> 00:19:53,220
I mean, where's the reward?

391
00:20:09,210 --> 00:20:11,190
Well, that was some campaign, Parker.

392
00:20:12,190 --> 00:20:14,000
Hope you don't mind,

393
00:20:14,150 --> 00:20:15,190
I voted for you.

394
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:18,090
You?

395
00:20:18,120 --> 00:20:19,120
Why?

396
00:20:20,090 --> 00:20:22,040
For sending all your votes my way.

397
00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:24,090
- But…
- Don't bother explaining.

398
00:20:25,070 --> 00:20:27,130
I know what you're capable of,
Parker Lewis.

399
00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:29,200
Not a problem.

400
00:20:31,120 --> 00:20:32,210
Well, listen,

401
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:35,000
if there's anything you ever need…

402
00:20:35,020 --> 00:20:37,090
I mean, anything I can do for you.

403
00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:39,180
Well,

404
00:20:40,120 --> 00:20:42,200
how would you feel about, maybe,

405
00:20:44,040 --> 00:20:45,130
going out with a loser?

406
00:20:49,050 --> 00:20:51,030
Not a problem.

407
00:21:11,220 --> 00:21:14,030
Parker, where's the toothpaste?

408
00:21:15,170 --> 00:21:16,200
You're welcome.

409
00:21:21,120 --> 00:21:22,140
What?

410
00:21:23,050 --> 00:21:25,210
Haven't you ever seen anybody
brush their teeth before?

411
00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:29,010
Mom!

412
00:21:30,030 --> 00:21:31,100
Not a problem.

413
00:22:01,040 --> 00:22:02,140
Mr. Lewis.

414
00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:04,080
Mr. Randall.

415
00:22:04,100 --> 00:22:06,000
Mr. Phillips!

416
00:22:06,030 --> 00:22:07,110
Hello!